WELP. Today was fun! For a certain value of 'fun' that translates as 'okay, most of that was interesting and did not actually suck, so I'm laughing at it'. :P
To start with, imagine that the entirety of this post is written from the point of view of a woman suffering from massive cramps and hormonal whim-whams. Because, well, it is. That was the general background to my day, so the fact that I am not weeping onto the keyboard and typing the saga of Why I Burned Down The Mall is kind of an accomplishment! This paragraph also serves as the content warning for this post. Written With The Whim-Whams. Expect sudden swerves of topic and a complete lack of internal logic.
The plan was that I would head in to work with the Handsome Hubby, then snaffle the car, drive into town, and kill an hour and a half eating a late breakfast and generally amusing myself until 10:30. I would then go to the optometrist, have a strange man look deep into my eyes and mutter things about 'macula' and 'optic nerve head', arrange to get a new right glasses lens (it's chipped), and skip merrily off to work for the afternoon.
Yeeeeah, I wouldn't be posting if that had worked out as planned, would I? XD First of all, I woke up with the aforementioned massive cramps and hormonal whim-whams, and decided that if that did not improve A LOT over the course of the morning, work and I would both be better off if I went home instead. Then the Handsome Hubby looked at the fuel gauge on the way to work and basically went "EEK!", so 'late breakfast and amuse self' became 'head to service station and fix that'.
Car fuelled, I head in to town, revising the schedule in my head. It's all good! An hour is plenty of time for a reasonably leisurely breakfast, there will just be slightly less amusing of self before heading to the optometrist!
Phone rings while I drive. I call back after parking. My optometrist has called in sick. O_o;; They can reschedule me... several weeks from now... or they can get me in with one of the other guys, at 2pm.
Revised revised schedule. ONE HELL OF A LOT OF AMUSING MYSELF.
Well, work probably wasn't going to see me today anyway, now it's just confirmed. Going home is not an option - radio says there's been a major accident on the route I usually drive, and navigating a new route is not exactly my best skill on a good day, much less with the whim-whams. :P Call work, call hubby to be half amused and half annoyed at him (this requires a responsive audience, it's no fun doing it as a soliloquy). Hubby kindly suggests a couple of excellent ways to kill all the extra time I have been handed. I go from half amused and half annoyed to almost completely amused. This is why I married him, ladies. If you wish to ogle this magnificent specimen of masculinity, the line forms on the left. No touching or flash photos, please.
Some of the amusement involved window-shopping. I would like to note at this point that I did not buy a new iPad despite technically having enough money in my account to do so if I completely ignore my budget. I did not buy a new iPad twice, in different stores! Triumph of willpower, right there. Dear gods I want one.
Maybe I'll ask for money for my birthday.
Ahem. Anyway. I finally get in to the optometrist.
At this point I need to explain a bit more background. Y'see, my rheumatologist is trying me on a new medication for my arthritis, because although I'm currently doing kinda-sorta OK, that's because I'm on enough steroids to disqualify half the [insert whichever country had the last doping scandal] Olympic team. And when you are on lots of steroids, long term, you start running into some of the more 'interesting' side effects. Like, if I keep taking this stuff at this rate, in... mmm... three years or so, I'll have about a 30% chance of developing cataracts. Let's not. So, new drug, in the hope that we'll be able to about halve my steroid dosage without crippling me, because being able to walk properly and keep working is a good thing too!
(Yes, that is a fairly serious thing to be flippant about. Don't worry. I'm assessing the risks etc in a properly logical way in consultation with my doctors and then being flippant about it, because that's how I deal with this sort of thing. ;3 Also, whim-whams.)
Right. Where was I? Medication, that was it. Anyway, new medication comes with its own possible vision-related side effects, which are wayyyyyy less likely (good), but possibly more serious (not good), and part of the way you manage that risk (see? Properly logical and in consultation, even!) is yearly eye exams to make sure weird things aren't happening to your retina. Today was "Find out what Mel's eyes look like when they're healthy, so we can spot anything new as it comes up" day.
Apparently my macula is a shining example of what they should look like. Good to know.
So, in order to get good photos of the back of my eyes, the optometrist wanted to stick drops in 'em. You know the ones. The stingy ones, that make your pupils go all huge for a while.
And Mel sez, "Okay-- wait, hang on, how long will it be before I'm okay to drive again? I need to pick my husband up after work."
And the optometrist sez, "Oh, most people are fine after about an hour."
And Mel totally does not think about the fact that she reacts 'normally' to about one medication in ten, and sez, "All right then."
I blame the whim-whams.
FOUR HOURS LATER, having taken a bus in from work, Hubby drove us home. I had my eyes closed for most of the way, because my pupils still looked like I was on the gooooooood drugs, light BURNED, precioussss - I had lens flares, I kid you not - and everything further away than about four car-lengths looked like a Monet painting. Kinda pretty, but useless for driving. As I type, we're coming up on six hours since that freaky stuff got in my eyes, and I can nearly focus again. I still have little fuzzy haloes around lights, not that I'm looking directly at them when I can help it, because ow.
New rule! Do not attend important medical appointments during the whim-whams. :P