melredcap: Cute chibi sketch of me by Asuka (Default)
[personal profile] melredcap

Isn’t it just such a wonderful feeling when you’re proven right? In a non-assholish way, even! 8D

As you may remember, I want to use my installed equipment for its intended purpose, once. (Translation: I’m trying to get pregnant, and then I never want to have a period EVER AGAIN.) To that end, I’ve been tracking my ovulation, and quite frankly my ovaries have no idea what they’re doing. Instead of popping out an egg fifteen days into my cycle the way they’re supposed to, they seem to be happy firing one out at day 7, or day 26, or frankly any other time they damn well please. I’ve been tracking for eight months and according to various signs you probably don’t want to know about, I’ve ovulated at about the ‘normal’ time once.

Try getting a medical professional to believe that, though. I know, I know, patients tell them “I think [x stupid thing]” every damn day and they’re wrong 99% of the time, but could they maybe try not to look at me as if I’ve just told them I think the U.S. Republican party is right about my uterus? :P

Me: “I’ve ovulated the day before my period starts three months in a row.”
GP: “Oh, no, that doesn’t happen. Well, it’s possible, but it’s really unlikely!”
Me: *explains how I’m tracking and why I think that*
GP: “…Okay, you may be right, but that’s really unlikely!”

Me: “I ovulate at really weird times.”
Specialist: “Oh, home tracking is notoriously unreliable.”
Me: *explains how I’m tracking and why I think that*
Specialist: “…Yyyyyeah that’s not likely at all. Blood tests or it didn’t happen.”

Me: *sigh* “I’m pretty sure I ovulate at really weird times.”
Specialist: “That’s a lot less common than people think, you know. Home tracking is notoriously unreliable.”
Me: “Yeah, I know, but I’m using the most reliable method I know of! I really hope my cycle is weird this month so you guys can see it.”
Specialist: *skeptical look* “Mm-hm. Okay, we’ll do this blood test, your hormone levels are gonna be low because you’re not likely to ovulate for a week, we’re gonna tell you to come back in about four days for the next blood test. Probably five.”

Me: *phones to get blood test results*
Nurse: “Uh. Yeah. Your hormones are through the roof. You’re probably going to ovulate, like, tomorrow.”
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